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Many women also feel unsure how to ‘be' when dating - what personality characteristics should they display and hide? Is it ok to be intelligent, or does playing dumb improve one's chances?
Should they be honest about their profession if it's one that is high in status, given that it might mean they are too competitive or challenging?
There are three main sources of concern - the quality of the mate, the energies they have to undertake to self promote, and the competition they face.
I should preface the rest of this blog by saying that I don't know much about men's views of the dating world, as it's not part of my research, so I'm going to focus on women here.
Overall, then, there is a perception that there aren't many good men out there, and if a woman finds one, she doesn't want to place many demands on him because it might scare him off.
The second issue is one centered on the women themselves.
Sugar and spice, and everything nice, that's what girls are made of? Women tend not to display it, and they tell me it's because the men they are meeting don't care about romance at all.
Second, many complain about meeting men who only want sex; some of these men pretend to want a relationship, but ultimately it's a deception.
In general, there seems to be a perception that there are only a few good men out there left.
As part of that work, I have asked women about their perceptions of the dating market - what they have to do to acquire a good prospect in light of the fact that there are other women out there trying to win the same prize.
A comment I routinely hear is that they greatly dislike the dating scene today.
Last week I was having lunch with a girl friend and we somehow ended up on the topic of romance and the current dating scene.