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Before your relationship gets serious, you should know what role, if any, the baby’s father has in the child’s life, and what type of relationship the two parents have with one another.Contrary to popular belief — and Lifetime movies — not every woman with a child is looking for a second parent if the biological parent is actively involved in the child’s life and doing a good, low-drama job of co-parenting.Check his credentials: If you have a toddler or baby and the guy is okay with dating you, then this next step is important.You may need to run some sort of background check or something to know what kind of temperament the guy has.A suave, zen-like guy who can hold in his inner lion is great but if you have a temper tantrum throwing lunatic around your baby, you need to drop him like a bad habit.Ladies listen, this man did not get used to a kid screaming like you did, he was not kept up nights tending to the crying and projectile poop, he isn’t seasoned in this.Wisdom Is Misery, aka WIM, uses his background as an internal auditor to provide objective, yet opinionated, qualitative and quantitative analysis on life, love, and everything in between.WIM is not a model, a model citizen, or a role model.
Some women with children do not want any more kids, and this is an awkward conversation to have after you have already exchanged “I love yous” or “I dos.” If you want one or two kids and she already has one or two kids, this is a conversation you should have sooner rather than later.
While the age of the child plays a factor, if you’re not looking for anything serious, you shouldn’t play the “I’ll figure it out” game with a ready-made family.
Further, if you’re not a kid person or don’t want kids, you should not date a woman with kids to see if you’ll change your mind.
When a man gets older he realizes that the chance of meeting a childless woman thins dramatically and the question of “how” may come to his mind in dealing with a child that isn’t his.
The single parent dilemma is felt the hardest by the children, and as a product of such a household I am lucky enough to have this insight in my dating life.
See more of WIM on his weekly write-ups for SBM, on Twitter @Wisdom Is Misery, and Instagram: Wisdom Is Misery.